TAGUIG City, Oct. 30, 2016 – Is it possible to be too much of a parent? An inspirational speaker and author believes so, warning more than 1,000 parents and educators on Oct. 23 about the pitfalls of not knowing when to “let go” of their kids so they can actually grow in maturity and learn on their own.
“The only way to hold on is to let go… It works among parents when you raise your children,” said Light of Jesus (LOJ) preacher Bo Sanchez during the keynote talk “Wings to Soar: Leaving a Legacy for our Children” of the Philippine Homeschool Conference 2016 held at the SM Aura Premier.
“You need to allow them to make mistakes… because it is in the mistakes that they learn,” he said, noting how even the Bible talks about the middle ground between underparenting and overparenting.
According to Sanchez, author of books like You Can Make Your Life Beautiful: Discover a Simple Path to Happiness and Your Past Does Not Define Your Future, 1 Peter 5:3 talks about “not domineering over those in your charge”, and this includes children.
The father of Benedict and Francis, one of the founders of LOJ said parents may have the tendency of wanting to control every aspect of their children’s lives even at a stage of development when they should be making decisions on their own.
Sanchez called attention to the fact that some parents make “gods” out of their children, building their lives around them and making it difficult for them to let go.
Love not need
“We confuse love with need. [Some parents] need their kids, they don’t love them… The only way to hold on is to let go,” he stressed.
According to the lay preacher, whose two sons are homeschooled, a child’s self-esteem and maturity are at stake if parents do not encourage autonomy and independence when appropriate.
Organized by the Homeschool Association of the Philippine Islands (HAPI), the whole-day conference featured 3 other keynote talks: “Building a Firm Foundation” by mother and daughter tandem, Deonna Tan-Chi and Joy Mendoza; “Strengthening the Foundation Through Financial Planning” by Eric Nicdao; and “The Art and Science of Helping Students Learn Well” by U.S.-based homeschooling expert Andrew Pudewa. (Nirva’ana Ella Delacruz / CBCPNews)